Who would have thought that the lovely story of my lovelife would end in a bliss? With no hint of what’s going to happen.
It was unexpected that I would love again like that. It was just a click when I noticed that I fell in love with this man. Everything came so fast. Everytime i saw him I wanna wish time would have stopped. Every beep in my phone, every mail that I received makes my heart beats fast. Everytime I heard his voice to the other side of my phone makes my adrenaline goes rushing. That feeling was the most wonderful that ever happened to me. I can still remember how things went and every bit of memories was still freshed in my mind. Those words that came out in his sweet and thin lips makes me dream and hope for something worth looking forward to. I’ve neve been optimistic before until I met him. All doors was opened, I let my emotions conquer my entire being. Even if I know that theire might not be something out there to look forward to. Until the day came that I have to leave. And in one just glimps of my eyes, everything changes. His feelings just went out so fast just like a motorbike that runs 300km/hour. I left hanging for almost four days. I don’t know what to feel and how to react. All I know is I’m scared and it hurts so deep inside me. But I was still positive and motivated that things will be fine. Girls instinct was always right. Yes, he decided to end it up. He can’t make it anymore. He don’t love me even if he tried he will still not get there. That moment I took a pause and I felt all the pain. It feels like all my bones was broken into pieces. My heartbeats so fast, blood runs quickly and i was catching my breaths. Finally found out I was crying. I thought by crying it will help me release all the pain that I felt inside. But I wa wrong. Everyday and night I kept on crying and it hurts me more than I thought it was. Every night I kept on praying to God to shut of everything I felt. To touch and heal my broken heart. To give me wisdom and peace.
Then one day, I woke up with a smile and whispered : WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY TO START! And from then on, i looked every side of my life in different ways. It feels like i was renewed. There’s a part of me that shuts off. Then I realized that there’s a part of my humanity was being hidden and shuts off. Well, I thought it was wrong but i felt better this way. Like I don’t care and I’m numb. My compassion, love and understanding was totally shutted off. The old me was buried 10 feet below the ground. The new me was greatful, happy and contented. And YES! I would not let my heart commands me again. And now, i can finally say, I’ve moved on.
The Journey of Sheila 